Greetings, foul friends!
The best time of the year is here! Yes, the Spooky Season is finally upon us, and we couldn’t be happier. That’s not strictly true, as we hate being happy, but you know what we mean…
Greetings, foul friends!
September is upon us once again, which means that Autumn is officially here, and it’s less than 2 full moon cycles until Halloween. As you can imagine, with the vast majority of the Black Lodge staff either being undead, a creature of the night, not of this planet, or from a different ethereal plane, we look forward to this time of year immensely.
Greetings, foul friends!
2025 is chugging along nicely – like an unstoppable possessed train on an express track to hell – and it won’t be long until it’s officially autumn, or Fall if you’re American. (Fall on what? A hidden bear trap? A rotting corpse deep in the woods? We approve of either, to be honest).
Greetings, foul friends!
Now that we’re into the second half of the year, it only seems fitting that we start preparing for Halloween. Forget your spring lambs and flowers in bloom; think morbidity, decay, and extended darkness. Actually, think pumpkins, comfy sweaters, and sipping Black Lodge Potions in front of a roaring fire.
Oh, how we love this time of year!
Greetings, foul friends!
2025 is officially halfway over, and on the 21st of the month, it’s the summer solstice. After the 21st, the days will officially start to get shorter, the nights will be darker, and the weather will start to deteriorate slowly.
Marvellous news, don’t you agree?!
Greetings, foul friends!
The sun has been unusually high in the sky for the past few weeks, so we’ve had to break out the Factor 5,000 sunblock for the vampires. And they’ve moaned incessantly about it.
Greetings, foul friends!
Somehow, we’re halfway through your human calendar year already. Of course, that’s just the blink of an eye to immortals like us, but Madame Anathema has been encouraging us to integrate more with our human customers, so we’ve been practising saying things like, “Ooh, where has this year gone?!”
Cousin Vlad, in particular, was very excited to learn about your World Blood Donor Day happening on the 24th of this month, but we think he may have gotten the wrong end of the stake.
We’re a work in progress, friends!
Speaking of which, here are some dates for your human diary:
DIARY DATES
The King’s Birthday (17th) – Uncle Viggo the Carpathian has been very grumpy that His Majesty’s latest official portraiture seems to have copied his own, but that won’t stop us from toasting HRHs’ health with an award-winning gin or two.
Midsummer (20th) – More good news! The summer solstice occurs on the 20th of this month and marks midsummer: the ‘longest day’ and ‘shortest night’ of the year. We’ll be heading to Stonehenge to catch up with some druid friends we haven’t seen for a few thousand years, and celebrating the fact that ‘the nights are drawing in’ and it’ll soon be ‘black as pitch’ at nights again very soon (how did we do with the human terminology?).
World UFO Day (24th) – Our space brethren hold a very special place in our undead hearts (read more about that below), so it gives us huge pleasure to celebrate with them on the 24th of June. This is the date that reporter Kenneth Arnold wrote about what is generally considered to be the first widely reported UFO in the United States. July 2nd is also the date of the ‘supposed’ UFO crash in the 1947 Roswell incident, so don your tin foil hats in appreciation (the aliens think it’s hilarious and send photos back home to their families).
UEFA EUROS 2024
We confess that this human obsession makes us scratch our heads a little. From what we can gather, 22 people try to kick a bag of wind into a big net for 90 minutes, fall over a lot, and grab their ankles like an imp has taken a bite out of them only to get up and run it off 20 seconds later – and you can’t get enough of it?
In the spirit of trying to understand, we recreated a game in the cemetery at the back of The Black Lodge, but the sheep’s stomach we used for a ball kept bursting, and the imps refused to let go of our ankles once they’d latched on, so we were all hobbling around the distillery for weeks. Never again!
Still, we don’t deny you your petty little pastimes – sorry, love of the beautiful game – and we understand that many of you like to consume vast amounts of alcohol and climb lampposts after the game. We encourage you to enjoy our premium craft gin throughout the game, but please do so responsibly.
GIN OF THE MONTH
This month, we’re giving you a peak behind the curtain at the development of one of our most popular concoctions; Our dark cherry, chilli chocolate gin.
The origins of this particular elixir might surprise you. We’re all big fans of your TV show Twin Peaks here at The Black Lodge, so we wanted to create a drink that paid homage to the cherry pie they often serve at the Double R Diner. We infused the savoury notes of chillies, then added luxurious chocolate to smooth out the overall flavour.
What you’re left with is a drink profile that’s:
Nose
Deep, rich plummy fruit and decadent chocolate aromas
Palate
A complex marriage of bittersweet cherry and indulgent dark chocolate, complimented by the creeping heat of chilli
Finish
Covers the palate with velvety smooth, warming, cocoa-infused spices
Delicious!
COCKTAIL OF THE MONTH
And if that’s got your lips smacking and your mouth watering, try our Cherry Bakewell Tart-inspired cocktail:
Enjoy!
UNTIL NEXT TIME…
That’s it for another Black Lodge journal entry, mortals. Madame Anathema is searching for us to give the next human lecture – something about a popular event coming up next month where two of you take it in turns to hit a small ball over a net – but we’re all in hiding.
You humans are weird and we want no part of it. You have your ways, and we’ll have ours.
Expect us to be back to our old venomous selves again next month.
Farewell, worms! (Oooh, that felt good!)
Stay spooky,
Brother G and Brother T
