Greetings, foul friends!
The first quarter of the year has been and gone, Spring is in the air, and we now have more hours of sunshine every day. Is it any wonder morale is so low in the distillery? How do you humans do it? How do you get through these awful conditions? You have our respect.
Oh well, no use in moaning about it. We have a journal entry to complete and batches of delicious, award-winning flavoured gin to make, so let’s get this show on the road (whatever that means).
EASTER
As fun as the idea of zombie rabbits chewing their way through the local peasants is, we believe that’s not how Easter actually happens. Something to do with banks not being open, people going crazy in supermarkets because they’re closed for a day, and eating chocolate instead? My, you humans can be boring sometimes! Where’s your sense of adventure?!
Still, if you must indulge in these strange rituals, we can help you out—with the chocolate side of things, at any rate. Our Dark Cherry, Chilli, Chocolate gin is the perfect way to make it through the extended weekend. With its decadent chocolate nose, indulgent dark chocolate palate, and cocoa-infused spiced finish, you’ll enjoy a few precious moments of quiet bliss while the children are out hunting for hidden raptor eggs.
What’s that? The eggs are made of chocolate?
Oh.
Oh, dear…
IGOR!
Fetch the hearse, quickly. We have to retrieve those eggs we donated to the village fete!
We’ll be back in a minute, dear readers. In the meantime, you can busy yourself by ordering your Dark Cherry, Chilli, Chocolate Gin from The Spirit Shop, or you can bundle it in with your regular Amazon deliveries if that’s easier for you.
IGOR!
FESTIVALS / MARKETS
You know how much we hate leaving the mustiness of the distillery. After all, there’s no place like hell. However, we enjoy speaking to you fleshlings in person, so we’ll be attending five different festivals up and down your great lands this month. If you see us break into a fiendish smile, worry ye not; we’re just thinking about something that’ll keep us from being homesick: the disembodied heads of our rivals on pikes near the Black Lodge’s driveway to welcome us home.
Anyway, here are the places, dates, and times where we’ll be appearing this month:
Saturday 12th April – Trentham Gardens Makers Market
Saturday 19th April – Warwick Market
Sunday 20th April – Tarporley Makers Market
Sunday 21st April – EasterFest Leamington
Sunday 27th April – Stratford Waterside Upmarket
We hope to see you there!
We also have plans to attend some big festivals during the summer, but we’ll let you know more about them in a future Black Lodge Diary entry.
MIGHT WE ASK YOU FOR A FAVOUR?
We never ask anything of you (other than the blood of your firstborn son, any spare virgins you might have hanging around the place, and your undying allegiance to the ancient Gods, but that’s all in good fun; this is business), so we hope that you’ll indulge us on this.
We want more humans like you to enjoy Black Lodge Potions artisan small-batch gin. So, the next time you’re in your local pub, cocktail bar, restaurant, nightclub, or concert venue, order a Black Lodge Potions gin. If they say, “We don’t stock it,” we would normally recommend disembowelling them, but instead, forego your bloodthirsty instincts and ask them to contact us instead.
We’ve even made it easy for them. No need to run around trying to find an exorcist or people to perform a seance with. All they have to do is email [email protected]
We thank you in advance.
UNTIL NEXT TIME…
Well, mortals, that’s about all we have time for this month. Don’t forget to speak to your local barkeep for us, and we’ll continue to create new and exciting flavours for them to stock (more on that very soon).
Stay safe, drink responsibly, don’t let the bedbugs bite (They do hate that saying. Scarabs have feelings too, you know), and we’ll see you in May for another Black Lodge Potions Journal entry.
Stay spooky,
Brother G and Brother T
