Greetings, foul friends.
Well, here we are, once again, in the twilight of the year. It’s traditional at this point in the year to ask where it went and marvel at how quickly time passes. But, when you’re thousands of years old, as many of the Lodge’s inhabitants are, this means very little. Centuries are a mere blink of an eye to us. The only slight worry we have with the passage of time is that we still have a library book from 1783, and if they ever decide to hunt us down for the late fees, we’ll have to sell the business to square it off.
We’ve got a lot to tell you about this month, so Igor has volunteered to take down notes as we go along. Igor, go and pluck a fresh feather from one of the ravens, and try not to get your eye pecked out this time, there’s a good chap. (I didn’t volunteer, dear reader. They thrashed me until I relented – Igor).
Christmas is here again, and the only creature that will be busier than us this month is Krampus. He often drops naughty children off here, and we put them in the fermenting barrels for a few hours. It’s a win/win, really; he gets to go out and fill his quota of naughty children to be punished, and the children’s fear gives our barrels a lovely smoky quality.
We’re joking, of course. He doesn’t drop them off here at all. No, he takes them straight to hell, then comes here after a hard day’s kidnapping to have a few hours of peace and an award-winning gin or two before it all starts again the following day.
Speaking of being busy, it’s about time we told you our latest news. I see Igor is back from the aviary (minus an eye, but he’s got another one he can use), so I’ll let him take over.
CHRISTMAS MARKET APPEARANCES
As always, we start with details of the various Christmas Markets we’ll be attending throughout the month. We’ve decided to do a residency at Merry Hill Shopping Centre this year, so we hope to see as many of you there as possible. Stop by, sample some artisan craft gin, and leave with a smile on your face, a clinking in your shopping bags, and a dent in your wallet.
Igor, what were we thinking? Three weeks in the human world, at Christmas, in a crowded shopping centre called Merry Hill? Urgh! If we make it through that without eating any children, placing a hex on anyone, or bludgeoning passersby with a candy cane, I’ll eat vegetables instead of villagers for a month.
Here are the details you need, human filth!
Saturday, the 6th of December
Knowle Christmas market, Solihull
Monday the 8th to Sunday the 21st of December
Merry Hill Shopping Centre, Brierley Hill
CHRISTMAS GIFTS
And speaking of shopping, it would be remiss of us not to mention that Black Lodge Potions gin makes a great Christmas gift for your loved ones (or as a treat to yourself). We have five delectable flavours to choose from, including:
🕷️ Dark Cherry, Chilli & Chocolate
🕷️ Premium Craft Gin
🕷️ Smoky Berries & Liquorice
🕷️ Stinging Nettle & Honey
🕷️ Wild Strawberry & Black Pepper
Of course, if you can’t choose your favourite, we won’t discourage you from buying all five…
And if you want to share your love of Black Lodge Potions gins, then our Five Gin Gift Pack is the perfect solution. You could even split it between five people and create five perfect stocking fillers.
Finally, our 500ml blood bags – sorry, pouches – are always a hit at Christmas gatherings, and you can choose from Wild Strawberry & Black Pepper, Stinging Nettle & Honey, and Dark Cherry, Chilli & Chocolate.
We strongly recommend getting your orders in as early as you can, dear reader, as it’s our busiest time of the year (and if we hit our quotas, the Masters have promised that I don’t have to clean the bones out of the sulphur pits until the New Year, so please help a lowly manservant out and buy lots – Igor).
FINAL POSTING DAYS FOR CHRISTMAS DELIVERY
This is your final warning, humans: Unless you want to be gin-less over Christmas (and nobody wants that!), we recommend you place your orders no later than Sunday, the 21st of December. Royal Mail says that a Special Order Delivery placed on Tuesday, the 23rd, will still arrive on time, but we think that’s cutting things just a little too finely. Reserve your fine cutting for the turkey, and make sure you get your festive drinks in plenty of time. Head to The Spirit Shop or Amazon now to stock up before you forget.
ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES
Each year, we like to suggest an ‘alternative’ Christmas movie list for you to enjoy while you sip your favourite Black Lodge Potions gin. If you’re looking for romance, the spirit of Christmas, and storylines so implausible that they make Hollyoaks seem like Shakespeare, then we suggest you check out The Hallmark Channel. If, however, you like your Christmas films with buckets of blood, terror, and torn-off limbs being thrown around the place, then you’re about to have the best Christmas ever.
Here are our recommendations from the past few years:
Krampus (2015)
Gremlins (1984)
A Christmas Horror Story (2015)
A Creature Was Stirring (2023)
The Gingerdead Man (2005)
Jack Frost (1997)
Better Watch Out (2016)
Black Christmas (1974)
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Violent Night (2022)
The Lodge (2019)
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
Fatman (2020)
Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)
Silent Night (2023)
It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)
There’s Something in the Barn (2023)
And here are this year’s additions:
Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)
A zombie apocalypse threatens the sleepy town of Little Haven at Christmas, forcing Anna and her friends to fight, slash, and sing their way to survival.
The Mean One (2022)
In a sleepy mountain town, Cindy’s parents are murdered, and her Christmas is stolen by a bloodthirsty green figure in a red Santa suit.
Christmas Evil (1980)
A deranged man obsessed with Santa Claus goes on a murderous rampage dressed in a Santa Claus suit.
Terrifier 3 (2024)
Art the Clown is back! The third in the Terrifier series is also the most unhinged (and that’s saying something). On release, it grossed $90.3 million on a $2 million budget, becoming the highest-grossing unrated film of all time.
Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)
The film follows a mysterious killer murdering Santa Claus impersonators in London at Christmastime. An underappreciated classic!
Be sure to tell us your favourite recommendation if you come to one of our food and drink festival dates.
Enjoy, fleshbags!
CHRISTMAS COCKTAILS
Of course, you’ll need something to drink while you watch the movie, so here are five Christmas‑themed horror cocktails — one for each Black Lodge Potions gin flavour — to slake the thirst of your Christmas coven.
1. The Crimson Cacao Curse
This is a warming, blood‑red velvet drink, perfect for a vampire settling down by a roaring fire of souls.
Gin:
Dark Cherry, Chilli & Chocolate
Ingredients:
50ml Dark Cherry, Chilli & Chocolate Gin,
25ml Rich Cherry Liqueur (or Port),
15ml Chocolate Syrup,
50ml Whole Milk or Cream (optional, for a richer body)
Method:
Stir all ingredients (excluding milk/cream) with ice in a mixing glass until well‑chilled. Strain into a chilled coupe or small wine glass. Gently layer the milk/cream on top, or skip it for a clearer, blood‑like appearance.
Garnish:
Rim the glass with a mixture of cocoa powder and dried chilli flakes. Drop a single, skewered Maraschino cherry in the glass to look like a floating vampire’s eye.
2. The Phantom Frost
A crisp, cold, and clean cocktail to chill the bones, as if conjured by the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come.
Gin:
Premium Craft Gin
Ingredients:
50ml Premium Craft Gin,
25ml Fresh Lime Juice,
15ml Rosemary Simple Syrup,
Top with White Cranberry Juice
Method:
Combine the gin, lime juice, and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well until frosty. Double strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Top with white cranberry juice.
Garnish:
Dust the rim with icing sugar for a fresh‑fallen snow effect. Use a long, fresh rosemary sprig to evoke a tiny, frozen pine branch.
3. Krampus’s Cauldron
Dark, smoky, and dangerously spiced, this drink is the taste of a punishment dreamt up by the evil spirit of Christmas.
Gin:
Smoky Berries & Liquorice
Ingredients:
50ml Smoky Berries & Liquorice Gin,
15ml Blackcurrant or Elderberry Cordial (for deep purple colour),
5ml Absinthe (or Anise Liqueur),
Top with Ginger Beer
Method:
Add the gin, cordial, and absinthe to a rocks glass and stir briefly. Fill the glass with ice and top with chilled ginger beer.
Garnish:
Garnish with a whole star anise (like an evil, spiky eye) and a few dark berries (like holly berries, but more sinister). Optional: For maximum effect, use a small piece of dry ice for a swirling cauldron smoke.
4. Yule Hag’s Venom
A deceptively sweet cocktail with a venomous green hue, brewed in a cauldron by a swamp witch under the winter moon.
Gin:
Stinging Nettle & Honey
Ingredients:
50ml Stinging Nettle & Honey Gin,
25ml Fresh Lemon Juice,
15ml Honey Syrup,
1–2 drops of Green Food Colouring (optional),
Top with Club Soda or Prosecco
Method:
Add gin, lemon juice, honey syrup, and food colouring (if using) to a shaker with ice. Shake until perfectly chilled. Strain into a chilled fizz glass and top with soda or Prosecco.
Garnish:
Skewer three small slices of candied ginger on a pick to represent toad legs. Alternatively, use a shrivelled, dried lime wheel to look like a “withered hag’s hand.”
5. Lycanthrope’s Lunar Feast
A wild, untamed cocktail that captures the frenzied sweetness of berries and the sharp, meaty bite of pepper.
Gin:
Wild Strawberry & Black Pepper
Ingredients:
50ml Wild Strawberry & Black Pepper Gin,
3–4 Fresh Strawberries (muddled),
10ml Balsamic Vinegar Reduction (or high‑quality aged Balsamic),
Top with Sparkling Wine or Sparkling Rosé
Method:
Muddle the strawberries in a shaker. Add the gin and balsamic vinegar reduction. Fill with ice and shake vigorously. Double strain into a chilled coupe or flute glass. Top with sparkling wine.
Garnish:
Create a rim using fine sugar mixed with cracked black pepper. Drop in a single, perfectly ripe strawberry, sliced at the base so it sits on the rim, like a freshly torn heart.
UNTIL NEXT TIME…
That’s it for this month, and for this year, dear readers. I speak on behalf of everyone at the Lodge when I say THANK YOU for supporting a small business, especially one run by a bunch of undead misfits such as ours.
It’s been a busy year, but next year promises to be even busier with the launch of some new products, so be sure to stay subscribed to these journals to be the first to find out about them.
For now, from everyone here, be safe, drink responsibly, have fun, and have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I’ll have to go, humans. A large delivery of fresh vegetables has just pulled up outside the lodge, and their bright colours are making me feel queasy. (Snigger – Igor).
Stay spooky,
Brother G and Brother T (and Igor)
