Greetings, foul friends!
Welcome to the most nauseating six months of the year; spring has firmly sprung, the days are getting longer, the weather is getting hotter, and evenings are getting brighter.
Honestly, what’s a self-respecting creature of the night supposed to do? We’re writing this month’s Black Lodge journal entry from the comfort of a dank, slimy crypt and reminiscing about bad weather, frozen toes, and nights as black as obsidian to cheer us up.
But enough about our woes. For you daywalkers, it means more opportunities to sit in your gardens and enjoy lazy afternoons or raucous evenings with family, friends, and Black Lodge Potions, so that’s good too.
Enough prattling!
Igor, show the delightful meat bags what we have in store for them this month!
FREE BLACK LODGE POTIONS GIN
We were clearing out the cellar in the east wing of the Black Lodge last month when we came across a case of Smoky Berries & Liquorice Gin left over from celebrating cousin Vlad’s 561st birthday (we’re still trying to get the blood stains off the ceiling).
So, to conclude the celebrations, the 666th human to visit this page and make a social media post here or here, tagging us in, will receive a free bottle of said gin from our own private collection. You must also be signed up to our newsletter here.
You’ll have to be quick – unlike the blood stains on our ceiling, it won’t hang around for long!
APRIL 4TH – WORLD RAT DAY
Our little furry friends get a bad rap, so we’re happy to spread the word about their attributes today. They make great pets, they’re highly intelligent, they’re very clean (don’t believe the movies), they love socialising, and they’re very affectionate.
If, however, the thought of rats makes your heart rate spike and you require a stiff drink, then get your gin orders in here.
APRIL 13TH – THE GRAND NATIONAL
Apparently, you humans enjoy ‘betting 50p each way’ on something called The Grand National this month? Very strange behaviour, but human sports were never our thing. That being said, we do enjoy riding Ichabod, our very own black mare, into villages, scaring the locals, and practicing our scythe swing, so maybe we’re not that different after all. Good luck to all who participate!
APRIL 17TH
INTERNATIONAL BAT APPRECIATION DAY
There are over 1,400 varieties of bats, and despite what you might have read or seen, they aren’t blind, and they don’t suck your blood and turn you into one of the undead (although what’s so bad about that?). Most bats prefer to eat nectar, fruit, and insects, and the ones that do consume blood lick it from open wounds – they don’t cause the wounds and then drain the life out of you.
But perhaps the biggest untruth surrounding bats is that they’re disease-spreaders, when in fact, they do great work controlling pest numbers. There are also many varieties of bats on the endangered species list, so we need to protect them before they’re lost forever.
Besides, any excuse to watch Batman movies with gin is fine with us, so raise a glass to our winged friends with us on the 17th.
COCKTAIL OF THE MONTH
This month, we’re divulging one of our favourite Black Lodge Potions cocktail recipes for all you budding mixologists. Ingredients are kept to a minimum, while enjoyment is raised to a maximum. This month, it’s the turn of our CRAFT GIN, so order your gin supply here, and happy mixing!
UNTIL NEXT TIME…
Well, we think that’s about as much joviality as we can muster up for one month. We’re all off to play with some sulphuric acid to cheer ourselves up.
If you need us before the next journal entry, you can make contact with the distillery office spirits at hello@blacklodgepotions.com and they’ll reply as quickly as their decapitated limbs can type.
Until next time, drink responsibly, tip your waiters well, and we’ll see you again for another Black Lodge Potions journal instalment very soon.
Stay spooky,
Brother G and Brother T
